Mažasis Rambo

2008-07-08

Taip vyras vadina mane. Kodėl? Žinoma, galit ir patys paklausti. Bet kad jau pradėjau, tai papasakosiu. Šaudyti aš nemoku, bet viską griauti kažkodėl pavyksta. Ypač namie. Nenuverčiu vazų, nesumindau katino, taigi bent jau galiu manyti, kad nesu tarsi dramblys porceliano parduotuvėje.

Prieš kelerius metus išlaužiau balkono duris petimi. Nes mane ten netyčia užrakino. Kadangi stovėti lauke kol (tuomet dar tik būsimas) vyras grįš iš kaimyno, nenorėjau, tai sugalvojau stumtelėti. Užraktas išlėkė po antro karto. Bet durys taigi visai paprastos buvo. Vyras įmontavo naują spyną.

Treniruodamasi aerobikos šokį kambaryje kumščiu nudaužiau vieną “liustros” gaubtą. Rankos nesusipjausčiau, bet mėlynė ant krumplių buvo. Ir daug daug šukių. Bet aš juk nė nemačiau, kad man ji virš galvos tabaluoja… Vyras lempą suklijavo ir pakabino atgal.

Po to nulaužiau vonioje kraną. Suktelėjau truputį ir nulaužiau. Kranas, tiesa, buvo pigus (negi keisi nuomojame bute senus varvančius kranus brangiais) ir parūdijęs. Bet vyras vis tiek nesuprato, kaip aš tai padariau. Išpirkdama kaltę važiavau į “Senukus” pirkti naujo krano. Pardavėjai paaiškinau, kad senas buvo toks pat, bet nulūžo. “Kaip nulūžo? Čia gi jėgos reikia nemažai turėti, kad nulaužtum…”, stebėjosi ji. Nežinau, specialiai jėgos aš nenaudojau. Vyras kraną prisuko.

Virtuvėje turime skalbimo mašiną (į vonią netelpa). Prijungta ji ten kažkaip po kriaukle, aš per daug nesigilinau. Kol nenutraukiau kažkokios metalinės žarnelės. Grūdau išsipūtusį maišą ir nutraukiau. Vanduo purškia, aš tupiu po kriaukle, bandau užspausti įtrūkimą ir šaukiu vyrui, kad vandenį užsuktų. O tas šaiposi dar. Naują žarnelę pirkom kartu, vyras pakeitė.

O vakar nulaužiau kraną virtuvėje. Vėlgi bandžiau pasukti į šoną ir nulenkiau. Rūdžių nemačiau, taigi teisintis nebuvo kaip. Vyras šaipėsi kelias valandas, o indus ploviau vonios kriauklėje. Šiandien važiuosim pirkti naujo krano, jis prisuks. Žodžiu, nesiseka.

Daug jėgų tikrai neturiu, ir, kaip sakiau, nesu dramblys. Smūgiuoju nestipriai, nes padovanotą supergražią raudoną pastatomą kriaušę sunku ištraukti iš už lovos, tai nėra kur treniruotis. Tik va persekioja mane tokios nelaimės. Užtat neišpilu cukraus ar miltų ant žemės, neišberiu lovoje pūstų kukurūzų ir nepasilaistau sultimis, nes viską po to tenka tvarkyti man, o ne vyrui. Taigi padariau išvadą, kad gal labiau žmogus saugo tai, ką pats turi ir sutvarkyti.

Kategorija: Visko po truputį | Komentarų: 364

Salomėja

2008-07-08 13:20

Oi prisijuokiau. Aš irgi visada pridirbu visokių dalykų, kur atrodo tiesiog na neįmanoma. O ir tokių, kur įmanoma, kaip garsusis kompo sudaužymas. Kaip tikrai lietuvei, tai smagu sužinoti, kad ne aš viena tokia.

Oni

2008-07-08 13:47

„Prieš kelerius metus išlaužiau balkono duris petimi.“
— Labai grakščiai ir moteriškai nuskambėjo. : ))

Aš dažniau ne ką nors sulaužau, o pati į ką nors susilaužau.

Mantas

2008-07-08 14:56

Linksmai paskaičiau :)

Paulius

2008-07-08 15:45

Hehe:) Įdomu, ką sekantį sulaužysi.

.)

2008-07-08 15:46

Perskaitęs šitą tekstą (du kartus) kažkodėl nusprendžiau daugiau nebeerzinti Tavęs maketų tema… Nejauku kažkaip pasidarė.

Laura

2008-07-08 15:47

Bet juk aš netyčia… :)

Adis

2008-07-08 18:22

Turiu draugą su panašia sėkme. Beje, mūsų draugystė prasidėjo nuo to, kad jis MANIMI išdaužė langą, mokyklos laikais ;) Šiaip pastoviai jam viskas lūžta, sulaužė net ir mano žmonos kėdę prie jos kompo, bet viršūnė pasiekta buvo, kai “sulaužė”… mūsų buto sieną. Vidinę. Per vieną tūsą ten draugiškai susitumdė su kitu kolega koridoriuje, pasigirdo garsus trekšt, permušęs net iš kolonėlių griaudinčią muziką ir… skilimas nuo lubų iki grindų :D

Laura

2008-07-08 18:32

Tavo draugas ne Hulk’as? :)

scania

2008-07-08 18:41

Laura – jei kada teks gyvenime susitikti, tai primink, kad su tavimi nesipykčiau… ;)

Tio

2008-07-09 9:39

ei, nu nėra taip jau viskas ir baisu, kaip aprašei :)

Laura

2008-07-09 9:52

Būtinai reikėjo pasakyti :) Darbe manęs jau bijoti ėmė :D Gal nėra taip baisu, bet juk visus tuos dalykus tikrai sulaužiau :)

Tio

2008-07-09 9:56

true :) tik per gana ilgą laiko tarpą…

Jolanta

2008-07-09 12:00

Kartą ir aš petimi išlaužiau namo lauko duris (tiesa, iš antro karto), nes būtinai reikėjo patekti į butą.Raktai ir visa kita, kas svarbu, liko automobilyje, kuriam užsitrenkė centrinis durelių užraktas. Mašina liko užvesta ir dar skersai kelio, nes vžbuvau ką tik išvažiavusi iš kiemo ir išlipusi uždaryti vartų. Galvoti nebuvo daug laiko ir greitai nusprendžiau, kad namo durys pigiau, nei automobilio remontas.. Bet pakartoti antrą kartą durų laužimo turbūt nesugebėčiau :))
Skaitydama straipsnį nuoširdžiai prisijuokiau :)

Laura

2008-07-09 12:47

Man dabar įdomu, kaip patogiau – laužti petimi ar išspirti koja? :)

Lokyz

2008-07-09 14:42

Geriausia laužtuvas :)

Laura

2008-07-09 14:42

O jeigu neturi? :)

Jolanta

2008-07-09 16:29

Tai kokia gi turi būti ta moteriška kojytė, kad ja išspirti duris?! :)

Žavinta

2008-07-09 18:49

Bet svarbiausia jog yra vyras kuris viską sutvarko. Gali daužyti, laužyti, bet galų gale jis vistiek viską sustatys į vietas :)

Originalas

2008-07-09 19:58

Aš tai tokiais atvejais sakau: “ai, nežinau, jis pats sulūžo…” :D Manau, kad čia kinai kalčiausi su tom liewom savo prekėm, prigamina šlamšto, poto patys daiktai lūžta..

shiny

2008-07-10 14:41

((: hahahahahha
pavarai.. bijociau tave isileist i namus turbut. arba prie kranu tai tikrai ((:

Evil

2008-07-15 19:25

Užskaitau :)) Mielai juokingas įrašas

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